MORE Catholic Marriage Frequently Asked Questions

Here is the second installment of our look at various aspects of marriage and marriage preparation in the Catholic Church. I am looking forward to sharing with you as soon as possible my reflections on the amazing events that have surrounded the visit of our Holy Father to the United States and to the United Nations.

1. Is it required that a wedding celebration have expensive flowers, clothes and other accompaniments?

The Rite of Marriage makes no reference to any of these cultural elements. The focus of the couple should be on the celebration of the sacrament. Pastors repeatedly point out that a couple does not have to postpone the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage because they cannot afford such things.

2. How much does it cost to get married in the Catholic Church?

The world in which we live has a way of bringing couples together for marriage from many different places around our country and around the world. Practices concerning the stipend, or offering to the Church, that is customary on the occasion of a wedding can vary from diocese to diocese. Depending on different areas, this might also include the fee for the organist and vocalist. In a situation of true financial difficulty, couples can come to an agreement with their pastors so that true financial hardship will never prevent a Catholic marriage from taking place.

3. What is a Nuptial Mass and when can a couple have one?

A Nuptial Mass is a Mass which includes the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. It has special readings and prayers suitable to the sacrament of marriage. The sacrament of marriage between two baptized Catholics should normally be celebrated within Mass.

If the situation warrants it and the local bishop gives permission, a Nuptial Mass may be celebrated for a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not a Catholic, except that Holy Communion is not given to the non-Catholic since the general law of the Church does not allow it. In such instances, it is better to use the appropriate ritual for marriage outside Mass. This is always the case in a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptized person.

4. What should a couple do when they decide that they want to marry in the Catholic Church?

They should contact their parish as soon as possible and make an appointment to talk with the priest, deacon or staff person who is responsible for preparing couples for marriage. This person will explain the process of marriage preparation and the various programs that are offered.

5. Why does the Church require engaged couples to participate in a marriage preparation program?

Marriage preparation offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

6. What kinds of marriage preparation programs does the Church offer?

Several are available. Programs include a weekend program with other couples, such as Engaged Encounter, a series of sessions in large or small groups or meetings with an experienced married couple. Specific programs address particular circumstances, such as remarriage, children brought into the marriage and marriage to a non-Catholic. As part of their preparation, couples complete a premarital inventory called FOCCUS, to identify issues for further discussion. The Family Life Office here at our Catholic Center can give you more information in regard to what is available at any given time.

7. What key issues are covered in marriage preparation?

Marriage preparation programs help couples to understand the Christian and the human aspects of marriage. Typical topics include: the meaning of marriage as a sacrament; faith, prayer and the Church; roles in marriage; communication and conflict resolution; children, parenthood and Natural Family Planning; finances; and family of origin.

8. Is there a cost for marriage preparation programs?

Most programs charge a modest fee to cover the cost of materials. Programs that require an overnight stay will include an additional cost for rooms and meals. Assistance is frequently available for couples who would otherwise be unable to participate.

As I mentioned last week, in the near future information about marriage and marriage preparation will be available on the website for our diocese.